Coming down, and around

We have completed the summer craziness rounds of travel, family, lots of activity, travel, more family, even more activities, and more travel.  We had an absolute blast!  But now, we are home, broke, exhausted, and satisfied that we made the most of our "holiday."  Emily and I are settling in to a couple more months of normalcy, the blessed routine and "busy-ness" that comprises our everyday lives (broken up by another trip) before we begin the happy insanity of the holiday season (with another trip home) and when my other half returns around Christmastime(!!!).  This coincides nicely with Fall for me, my season of renewal and energy.  Hoping for some cooler weather soon, though.  I just love Autumn!

On one hand I am trying to recoup in many ways from all the travel, activity, and financial strain from all of that, plus beginning a new season when everything seems due at once; and yet, moving forward to working on my goals for self-improvement (eating, exercise, professional activities, general living, spirituality, etc).  I adjusted rather quickly, and have jumped right in - I was VERY ready to regain my home, my "self", and our life (even though I had too much fun, it was still nuts!).  I have been productive in many many ways, completing items from my constant barrage of 'things to do' running in the background of my mind.  Although, funny how even though things are getting crossed-off, more and more get added.  *sigh*

A couple of readings I have completed have sort of gelled with how I am feeling right now in my quest for self-improvement and balance.  I want to share them here.  The first is an analogy from a book I am reading called The Balancing Act: A daily rediscovery of Grace.  It describes a tightrope walker, and how she moves along the line - never is she perfectly balanced or poised, her whole journey across is subtle movements and shifting toward the center.  She is always in the act of balancing.  That just resonated with me, because that is exactly how I feel in my life.  If my home life is taken care of, my professional life suffers.  If I am happily busy with work, am I paying enough attention to my child and my spiritual life?  So, my life is a constant act of balancing, I will never get it perfect.  That knowledge is immensely freeing to be able to truly enjoy the journey, because that is where happiness is found.  The destination is only a by-product, not truly the end result.

The second is from a journal I am working on for my Ministry of Moms Sharing group, or MOMS.  It is a program offered through my church for 8 consecutive weeks and I am so pumped!  We haven't officially met yet, but in working on my "homework" I came across a few things that I feel align with my journey right now.

Called to Become

You are called to become
a perfect creation.
No one is called to become
who you are called to be.
It does not matter
how short or tall
or thick-set or slow
you may be.
It does not matter
whether you sparkle with life
or are silent as a still pool,
whether you sing your song aloud
or weep alone in darkness.
It does not matter
whether you feel loved and admired
or unloved and alone.
For you are called to become
a perfect creation.
No one's shadow
should cloud your becoming.
No one's light
should dispel your spark.
For the Lord delights in you,
jealously looks upon you,
and encourages with gentle joy
every movement of the Spirit
within you.
Unique and loved you stand,
beautiful or stunted in your growth
but never without hope and life.
For you are called to become
a perfect creation.
This becoming may be
gentle or harsh,
subtle or violent,
but it never ceases.
Never pauses or hesitates,
Only is------
Creative force-----
Calling you
Calling you to become
a perfect creation.


~ from Psalms of a Laywoman by Edwina Gateley, VMM


Here are a few well-chosen words from T.S. Eliot:

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.

This is exactly how I feel right now, at this particular spot in my life.  I feel I am discovering and revealing my true self along the way, yet coming home to it simultaneously.  What an odd, yet lovely, mystery!

I leave you with one more beautiful quote from noted theologian Anne E. Carr, from her book Transforming Grace: Christian Tradition and Woman's Experience:

Grace is the gift of claiming responsibility for one's life as love of self as well as love of others, as the assumption of healthy power over one's life and circumstances.