The Birth Story of Oliver Robert
This story
is written from my perspective as the doula, based on what I witnessed and
documented. However, your mom's account of your birth may include details and a
perspective that mine does not. I encourage you to ask her to tell you her
version.
Your
story began a long time ago even before your mom was pregnant. Your mom had
shared with me that she and your dad wanted to have another child after he
returned from deployment. So I was not surprised when your mom announced the
great news that she was pregnant shortly after he came home. We talked from
time to time about her pregnancy and the possibility of me supporting her as
her doula. But it wasn’t for several months that she decided to have me by her
side. I was so honored when she told me and I looked very forward to serving by
her side as she and your dad welcomed you into their family.
We
met up a couple of times to discuss her previous birth and what she was hoping
for the second time around. And I was
able to attend the breastfeeding group she led on occasion which also provided
an opportunity to connect and spend time together. Your mom planned to take her
last road trip in August. She was going up north to spend time with family
before your arrival. Then on Saturday, August 6, she called one of her
midwives, Terri, to tell her that her water had broken as she was taking that
trip. It just so happened that when Terri got the call she was standing not far
from me and was able to give me an update on your mom. I was so worried for her
but glad to know I was able to at least pray for safety and God's protection
for you from those very first moments. Your mom was in her car with just Emily
and the family dog. So she called 911 and was able to be transported to an area
hospital. She was ultimately admitted and prepared for your birth at 31 weeks,
a full two months early. Arrangements were made and the hospital staff took
precautions with you and administered the Rhogam shot as well as some
antibiotics and steroids to help make sure your lungs were as mature as they
could be. But then about a week or so later a miracle happened! The hole in the
amniotic sac resealed and everything appeared perfectly normal. Your mom was
ultimately released soon after and allowed to return home for the duration of
her pregnancy, which meant she was still slated to have a home birth with the
midwives of Seven Cities Midwifery. This was such an answer to prayers! And
believe me, there were many people who already loved you that were praying fervently
for your health and safety. Your mom felt the loving arms of so many friends
and family during that scary time, and you were undoubtedly being held in the
palm of God’s hand as well.
With
things drifting back into normal, well as normal as they can get in the midst
of selling a house and preparing to move the month following your birth, your
mom tried to focus on preparing for your arrival. She made spaces ready in the
house, including setting up a birthing tub that would eventually be where she would
meet you for the first time. Yes, your mom had decided to give birth at home
where she felt most comfortable. She had a very deep trust in her body's
ability to give birth and she wanted the freedom to birth in the manner of her
choosing, in the place she felt the most comfortable, surrounded by people she
had selected to be there. She had met a wonderful group of midwives who took
excellent care of her through the pregnancy. She looked forward to your special
day with anticipation. But she also wanted you to come when you were ready,
knowing how precious each day in the womb was for you, allowing you all the
time necessary to grow big and strong and finalize the inner workings of your
body. After worrying about birthing a baby two months early, the countdown of
the last few weeks were such a gift. Every single day of pregnancy was an
incredible blessing and before your mom knew it she was full term! And to
everyone's surprise, your mom remained pregnant for another week, and then
another. And when your mom was still pregnant at 39 weeks, she began to wonder
if she might give birth after your due date like with your big sister.
Regardless of the time you would choose, she was overwhelmed with gratitude and
relief just knowing that you had remained in her womb for the entire pregnancy!
God is so good and your mom was completely at peace with waiting until your
perfect time, even if it was past your due date.
Then on
Tuesday, October 4 at 6:30 am, your mom sent me a text message. She had been up
with contractions for a couple of hours. They were ranging from every 5 to 7
minutes to 10 minutes apart. She wasn’t really timing them for fear she would
become to distracted by that. But her best guess was that they were about 45
seconds long.
Your mom called me around 9:00 to
tell me the contractions were feeling more intense so she was going to try
getting in the water of their bathtub. I could tell they were stronger than
previous because she put the phone down as she felt a contraction swell. But
she resumed the conversation as if nothing had happened, chatting in her usual
fashion. So it still sounded like early labor. She also called her midwives to
give them an update. She did not yet want me to come but she did call your dad
to tell him to hurry home because she preferred not to be alone. She had made
arrangements for your sister to be picked up from school and taken to a
friend’s house. And I knew that gave her peace of mind and would help her labor
to progress.
I spoke with your mom around 10:30
and she was still trying to decide whether or not she needed me to join her.
The contractions were not yet very close. She finally gave in to my request and
used a contraction timer so she could definitively confirm that they were well
spaced, about 5 to 7 minutes apart. So I told her I would call her back in
about 45 minutes and we could see if things had changed and make a decision as
to whether I should come over at that time. I texted your mom around 11:30 and
your dad texted me back to tell me things were still the same. I asked him if
your mom wanted me to come and told me she was resting. So I asked him to let
her know that I had called but I would wait to come until she asked. I figured
if she was sleeping then there was little need for me to be there. He called me
back a short while later to tell me that your mom would like me to come on
over. So I told him I would leave shortly.
I arrived to your parents’ home
around 12:30. Your mom was sitting in the recliner and greeted me with a cheery
smile. She was excited and chatted with me as if nothing was gong on. Then she
had a contraction and closed her eyes to breathe deeply with it. She was very
calm and quiet so she looked to still be in early labor. I timed some
contractions as we talked. Your mom recognized that her thighs were clenched.
She remembered feeling the contractions in her thighs during Emily’s birth as
well. But when she stood up the intensity increased and she preferred to sit
down.
Your mom did some leg lifts in the
chair, trying to stretch her thighs that were bearing the brunt of the
contraction tension. She felt pelvic pressure like something was happening and
we wondered whether her water might be breaking soon. I looked out the open
window and saw a beautiful garden. The air was mildly crisp and I thought what
a beautiful day it was to have a baby. The sun was shining and the sky was so
blue. I could even hear birds chirping. It was a gorgeous day, and a perfect
day to be born.
After we chatted for a bit, and
thought to put an absorbent pad underneath the towel she was sitting on just in
case her water broke, she decided to listen to her Hypnobabies cd again to
center herself. After listening for a few minutes I could hear her breathing
slow and knew that she was taking a cat nap in between contractions. Then I
heard her breath increase and go deeper and knew that she was having a
contraction. After several minutes of this she opened her eyes and told me I
was welcome to go if I had something to do. I got the feeling she felt it might
be a bit early to have me there and since I hadn’t yet eaten lunch I told her I
would go eat lunch nearby. I would check-in with her when I was finished to see
if she’d like me to return but told her to please let me know if things changed
so that I may join her sooner. She assured me she would and so I left. I told
her I suspected things would pick up after the sun went down. But that was just
my opinion. It was just before 2:00 when I went to eat lunch.
I sent a text to check on her just
after 3:00. Your dad answered that she was in the tub in the bathroom and there
weren’t really any further changes. I asked if I should busy myself in town a
bit longer but he said your mom thought it fine for me to return. She didn’t
want me to rush but to come right in when I arrived since the door was
unlocked. It was 3:30 when I returned to find your dad taking a nap in bed and
your mom sitting quietly in the bathtub. She was breathing in and out deeply
through a contraction and looked very much as she did when I first encountered
her in the recliner three hours before. So I sat at the side of the tub and
waited for her contraction to subside.
She noticed some mucus in the tub,
just a bit, but otherwise was still contracting every 5 or 6 minutes. We
chatted some as we had done earlier. And I worried that our talk might distract
your mom from labor and cause her contractions to spread apart. And they did
spread out somewhat. I had recorded a couple contractions that were 8 minutes
apart. but they kept coming and were always lasting at least a minute. We sat
there for about 45 minutes, chatting on and off. Your mom asked me to fetch her
a green popsicle from the freezer. And since she was able to describe exactly
where it was located I felt things were still taking their time. She took a few bites and would hand it over
to me to hold when a contraction came so she could take her deep breathes
through it. And then when it subsided, I passed her the popsicle and she
resumed her sentence where she left off. It was impressive and I wondered when
things would really kick in. Shortly after she asked for another popsicle so I
grabbed the last green one from the freezer and brought it to her and she did
the same, handing it over to me through a contraction and resuming her bites
when it finished.
Your mom started thinking about the
evening logistics for your big sister, Emily, and asked me to wake your dad so
he could call and make the arrangements. He woke easily and got busy taking
care of your sister’s care. Around 4:45 your mom told me she felt like she
needed to get out of the tub because she felt closed in, like she didn't have
room to move. She really wanted to be able to spread her legs out. She was
ready to try the birth tub. That indicated to me we might be needing to call
the midwives soon. Her teeth chattered as she got out, which did not strike me
at the time, since she had been sitting in the tub for over an hour I knew the
water had grown cooler. And she had also just finished eating a popsicle so
once her wet body got out, the shivers were expected. I draped a towel over her
shoulders which she positioned around her waist quickly. She was still feeling
modest so I kept that in mind as we walked. Her teeth continued to chatter and
your dad told her how cute she was as she walked with her teeth chattering. A
contraction came over her as she reached the bedroom door and she draped
herself into the door frame. I waited for it to subside and we continued our
walk to the other side of the house where the tub was.
I took the cover off the tub and
your dad joined us at about that time, having rested and still finalizing the
evening plans for your sister. Your mom got in the tub with little help and
when she entered and sat down she smiled and said, “Ahhhh.” Then she swung her
legs wide open and brought them back to the center saying, “This is what I was
talking about. I can actually move!” Then she told me she would feel better if
the midwives came over and asked me to call Terri. Your mom at this point was
still not sure it was time for them to come. And she was worried she would only
be 5 cm when they arrived but she had a feeling they should come. So I left
Terri a message, telling her your mom wasn’t sure whether it was time but her
contractions were 5 to 6 minutes apart and lasting over a minute long. Terri
called back immediately and left a message. As it turned out your mom’s phone
was charging in the other room so they didn't hear the ring. But your dad
noticed the call very shortly after that and called Terri right back so she was
able to speak with your mom. It was around 5:10 when they spoke and Terri told
your mom she would be on her way.
It know it gave your mom peace of
mind to know they were coming, even though she was still not sure how far along
things had progressed. Amanda, your mom's birth photographer, sent me a text
asking how things were going and I told her it might be early but to head on
over if she wished. So she got in her car soon after that. Your mom made her
first vocalizations through contractions around 5:20. They weren't very loud
but were more of a gentle hum. It was a sound a woman makes when she is working
harder through her contractions and was a sure sign that she had progressed
into a more active labor. Then at 5:30 she got up to use the bathroom. I heard
your mom cuss for the first time in her labor and she didn’t mind me joining
her in the bathroom, her modesty was gone, which was another good sign that
things were getting active. She had a hard time getting comfortable and I
reminded her gently that it might not ever happen, considering she was in
labor. Then she reminded herself that she was capable by saying, “I can do
this”, and gathered herself up off the toilet and back into the tub.
She asked us to put her Hypnobabies
cd back on so she could get focused. Your dad took care of that for her but the
first track he played was actually the one designated for the second stage of
labor, which was pushing. We couldn’t help but giggle as he frantically flailed
to turn off the track. Thankfully after a few seconds, he switched it to the
correct one. Later on your mom told us that she remembered hearing us giggle
over that. And we couldn’t help wonder if hearing the track might have had any
impact on the next few minutes of her labor.
Your mom listened to the cd playing
and closed her eyes through each contraction. She asked us to turn on the fan
so we did. I also had your dad get some washcloths and cold water so we could
apply that to her forehead to also help keep her cool. The contractions were
still coming 5 to 6 minutes apart but were lasting over a minute. She was able
to relax well in between but definitely wasn’t chatting as she had been
earlier.
Your mom felt a contraction and
stood up and I tried to do the double hip squeeze to help ease the pressure for
her. Then she sank back down in the water and with the next contraction felt
pressure but assured us she was not pushing. We knew her midwives were on their
way and all your mom had to do was breathe and stay loose through the
contractions as she had been doing. She felt another contraction and gripped
the side of the tub and leaned forward toward me. I whispered to her that she
was doing amazing work and to just ride out the wave to the peak and it would
subside and she would have a period of rest. She knew it was true and she
nodded.
Then your mom told your dad that
she needed him in the tub with her. Without hesitation he hurried off to put on
his swim trunks and was back in a flash. He paused at the side of the tub and
then climbed right in beside her to offer his support. Very shortly after that
your mom told me she felt like she had to push. I told her to blow out so she
didn’t push. We weren’t sure it was time for that and the midwives were on
their way. But another wave came over her and she felt the urge to bear down
again. This time I reminded her to make loose horse lips and she did. She
reached down and felt the bulging bag at which point I called Terri to let her
know. She answered right away and when I gave her an update of the situation
she told me to not let her push and she would get in touch with the others to
let them know. It was around 5:49 at this time.
Then your mom looked at me as she
was kneeling and said she felt your head. I asked her if you were crowning and
she looked right at me and said, “No, the head is out!” She had your head
literally in her hand. Amanda walked in the room right about then. She had
paused to get her camera ready and then entered to find your mom was trying so
hard not to bear down, even though her body was telling her to. I continued to
remind her not to push on purpose and she assured me that she wasn’t. Then she
told me she didn’t know what to do or where to go. At this point it was quite
clear that you were trying to be born so I told your mom to get on her hands
and knees and asked your dad to get behind your mom in case he needed to catch
you. He looked down and said surprisingly calmly, “I see the baby’s face still
in the sack!” I told him it was perfectly fine and normal. It must have been an
amazing and alarming sight for him. But he remained calm as did your mom and
the realization of your imminent arrival became clear. I told your mom she was
safe and her team was on the way, hoping my efforts would help maintain their
calm. Your parents really did remain serene and happy. They trusted birth and I
could see a peace in them as the prepared to meet you. Then we heard a sound at
the door and I knew it was one of the midwives. Amanda stepped out to direct
Jenny to the room and then your mom unable to fight the urge, gave another push
and your dad caught you in his hands. The sack broke as you were being born
which was miraculous considering your sack had broken two months prior! As your
mom likes to tell it today, when God resealed your sack he did it with superglue!
Jenny walked in just as your dad
was cradling you to his chest, freshly born. Then your mom shifted her weight
back so she could turn around and receive you in her arms. Then we lifted you
to your mom’s arms at which point Jenny noticed that the cord was around your
neck. I stepped aside upon realizing she was right there so she could do what
she was trained to do. She helped get your mom situated so she could hold you
properly and get a good look at you. Then Jenny asked for some towels and I went
about fetching them for her and anything else she asked for. I was happy to be
the midwife’s errand runner until the rest of her team arrived. The next item
of need was a baby hat and I managed to find one of those after rifling through
a nearby bag.
Your mom held you in her arms and
gazed down at you. Then she hugged you to her chest and then looked down
between your legs to discover that you were a boy! That made me laugh because
earlier that day your mom had told me she and your dad did not have a boy name
settled which made me think you would likely be a boy. And you were.
It was only a handful of minutes
before Terri arrived. We gathered towels and a pad we made a nest for your mom
on the floor. It was a team effort to help her step out of the tub and maneuver
down onto the ground. Jenn arrived around then and stepped in to assist where
needed. Your mom held you close to her chest as they checked for any tears and
waited for the placenta to be delivered. She was still having strong
contractions so I reminded her to breathe deeply and try to focus on you. After
some time passed she attempted to bring you to her breast to help encourage the
contractions that would bring the placenta. I wiped your mom’s head with a
cold, wet washcloth and she liked the way that felt. I also gave her some water
and Gatorade through a straw to help replenish her. We admired your cuteness as
we waited and noticed your pink skin and dark hair. You were very grabby and
clutched your mom’s necklace as she held you. It took a bit longer than she
expected but after about 40 minutes the placenta was finally expelled. And at
that moment your mom felt complete relief in knowing she was done. Your dad cut
the umbilical cord soon after that.
After the birth was finished it was
time for your mom to use the bathroom and move to her bedroom. Your dad was
able to sit in the rocking chair and hold you and Amanda took the opportunity
to snap some pictures of the Meyers boys. Jennifer had prepared the bed for
your mom so all we had to do was walk her over that way. Once she made it to
her bed, you were back in her arms for snuggling. It was so wonderful to see
you and your mom staying so close together from the moment of birth. That is
difficult to come by in many hospitals but is so very special when it does
happen. Jennifer brought your mom some apples and cheese for a snack and
encouraged her to eat so she could get her strength back up. Having a baby is
hard work and your mom needed to take care of herself.
Your dad got busy spreading the
word that you had arrived. Your grandpa did not believe it, assuming your dad
was pulling a fast one. He was a funny guy who liked to be silly and through
the course of the afternoon it became clear to me that your dad did enjoy
joking around. But in all seriousness he handed the phone to Jenny who
confirmed that your grandpa indeed had a new grandson. Your dad was back by
your mom’s side when he was finished though. And I caught him gazing intently
at you and your mom as you nursed in her arms, and I saw a very serious
expression of intense love and admiration. Your dad was just soaking it all in,
all jokes aside, clearly overcome with the love and grace that God had shown
him that day.
After allowing a good long time on
the bed for you to nurse and your parents to revel in your newness, the
midwives came in to weigh and measure you. Jenny asked if we had any estimates
and someone guessed 7 ½ pounds. I think it was your dad. And then I guessed 7
lbs. 13 oz. and Jenny guessed 7 lbs. 12 oz. First Jenn weighed you using
Terri’s hanging scale and it bounced between 7 lbs. 13 oz. and 7 lbs. 14 oz.
Luckily, your mom also had a scale that was designed to weigh newborn babies
and it confirmed your weight at 7 lbs. 13.9 oz. So your weight was rounded up
to 7 lbs. 14 oz. and I was proclaimed the closest guesser. I am a notoriously
poor guesser as is evidenced by my incorrect gender prediction so this was a
pleasant surprise. You measured 21 inches long.
Time seemed to fly so quickly but
around 9:00 your dad was able to get your big sister on the phone. Your mom
told her the exciting news of your arrival and your big sister screamed and
howled with excitement. Apparently she was also jumping up and down, she just
couldn’t contain herself. Then your mom told her your name and she said, “I
don’t like that name. I like Max.” Your mom laughed and being so understanding
she told your sister she could call you Max if she wanted too. I wondered how
long that would stick. Then again, knowing your sister, it might stick for
awhile!
Soon after that the midwives packed
up their things to leave. I took that as my cue and prepared to do the same. We
took a picture first and I was pleased to be able to hold you before I left.
Then we all exchanged hugs and I told your parents how amazing they were that
day. It was an exhilarating birth and I drove home that night feeling things
were a bit surreal. I will remember your special birth for a long time, Oliver
Robert. And I know God has such important plans for you judging from the many
miracles that have already happened for you in you very new life. There are
certainly guardian angels that surround you and so very many people who love
you and pray for you. I hope that you continue to live a life full of love and
miracles, Oliver Robert!
Written with love by your doula,
Amara Minnis, CD(DONA), PCD(DONA)
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