I have been knocking around some ideas for my starting off 2012 blog post, and with a baby and running a household, am finding it difficult sneaking time to write. My hands are always busy with food preparation, a nursing infant, my preschooler, laundry, the steering wheel, or a rag. I often browse FB on my phone, especially while my son cluster nurses in the evening, and read all sorts of posts that trigger things I want to write about. I am also reading a GREAT book called Simplicity Parenting, and I am trying to get things in order so I can implement some of the author's techniques (mainly reducing the amount of toys and clutter). I have also just read, and have started eating according to The Primal Blueprint, and I feel amazing! Basically, I don't eat grains or legumes, but do eat lots of veggies, fruit, proteins, and fat. My husband has started with me and he is completely on board. More on these topics later.
Lately I have felt (maybe due to my increased energy from eating better) like I need to conquer this house - finish our last boxes and organize, shop for and prepare nutritious meals, purge the playroom and reconfigure it, etc. I do this all while my daughter is at school and my husband is at work. My baby actually does sleep a bit during the day so I have some time. But, the more I do, the more there is to do, and I am feeling like I am not taking advantage of his babyness! (note: my daughter never slept unless she was on me or I was wearing her, so this is an entirely new perspective for me, and I am not used to it). I looked at him yesterday, and I just feel like time is slipping away from me, like he is already growing up so fast. And what if we decide he is our last? (again we are about 50/50 on the issue and this won't be decided for sure until a couple years from now, but still.) So how do I find that balance of enjoying his babyhood and still doing what needs to get done? Working on this daily. The same with my daughter who has been VERY attached to her daddy since he has been home. He has taken up a lot of my jobs with her, so my challenge is to find ways of being with her that don't involve me holding a baby as well. This post really hit home. Days can be long, and years short, but it seems like even the days are not long enough. I know these are not novel concepts, just some thoughts as we parent more than one child.
We are struggling a bit with our daughter's behavior, she is VERY strong-willed. And that is also a challenge: realizing what is developmentally healthy and appropriate for her age, reigning in our own emotions and reactions to the situation to be able to handle it appropriately, and finding a way to discipline her that respects both her and us as the parents. We strive to be gentle parents, and I think most of the time, we manage to hit that mark. And when we don't, we pick back up and try again in the next moment. And it is okay to be frustrated and not like it 100% of the time. This life we chose, and we wouldn't trade it for the world. My husband and I are sort of redefining our selves and our home life after his prolonged or frequent absences, a new baby, and a move. Here we are very family and home focused, and it is nice to be a family of four. We are working on the rhythm of the house, and the overall family culture. I will keep you updated. I think we have a good start. She is a great kid, we just all need to fine tune. This quote sums it up, "Parenting is 10% your child's behavior, and 90% how you react to it."
My son, oh my fuzzy headed, chubby little love bug! He is such a different baby than his sister. So much more easygoing, and less needy. He is such a happy little guy with a smile that will melt your heart. And you can't even think about holding him without constantly kissing his fuzzy little head. It has been so interesting to compare the two so far. He HATES the car seat and would work himself up into such a sweaty mess that I didn't feel like going anywhere (this is slowly improving). My daughter would cry but be okay if we kept moving. He likes to nurse, but when he is done, he is done. My daughter would have stayed latched 24/7 if it was up to her. He can be put down to sleep (in his swing) or in my bed, she needed to be nursed or worn or held or driven, and couldn't sleep next to me without a nipple in her mouth. He has refused a pacifier, she took one for about 8 months. He weighs as much at 3 months as she did at 5 and a half. Both enjoyed babywearing. I cloth diaper him, never even really knew about it with her. My daughter was a little fuss all the time as a baby (wish I knew what was the problem!) and my guy is pretty easy. My daughter ONLY wanted me (from birth, honestly) and my son is content with a warm lap and a smile (although when it is time to eat, watch out!) My daughter was the ultimate in portability as a baby and we did SO MUCH together, my son and I are pretty much at home with only occasional errands. My daughter was a nursing pro from the beginning, and my son and I have had our issues: had to clip a lip-tie, chiropractic visits, use a nipple shield for the first month, and more recently I have had to give up dairy and nuts. One child isn't better than the other, but it has been interesting to compare them. So different already. LOVE their individual personalities and that it shows up from the time (and how) they come into the world!
It is weird to me how weird it isn't having a son and having two kids. Honestly I think my first was SO shell-shocking to my "old" way of life, and now I have had time to reconcile that. Not that she is my practice kid, but I really wish I knew then what I know now, and feel much more comfortable doing. This is why the second kid is much easier in a way. I followed my instincts and my heart with her, but there were still the "voices" and doubt. Now I just embrace it (mostly) as our life and the way we live. And I think having a second kid has helped me cut away some of the crap and become the mother I am meant to be, to both of them. I say there was an Oliver sized hole that he filled, and I really think that is true. I feel like a much better mother, like I am becoming who I am meant to be, and like our family is expanding to its fullest potential. And with all that growth, of course there are bound to be growing pains! I have embraced this vocation in a way that I never had before, and it is fulfilling beyond words. Frustrating and busy, yes, but this is by far the best "job" I have ever had.
When I can compile my thoughts on my "resolutions" for the year, I will get that up too. Hope you are all enjoying a wonderful start to 2012 and that you are making it all that you wish.
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