My friend recently had her first baby and we have been corresponding via email (at 6 days out, good for her). She is having some breastfeeding issues: cesarean section, him being bottle fed (for various reasons), and now she is pumping and feeding him a bottle. I have been hopefully giving her good information on how to jumpstart their breastfeeding relationship.
I also still belong electronically to my birth center's unofficial breastfeeding support group online. There are always great discussions when issues with babies of various ages and stages arise. There have been a lot of posts from the more experienced mothers (with babies ranging from 16 - 25 mos) talking about weaning and how they feel about it.
My 2 BFF's also recently just asked me how nursing was going and if I had thought about weaning as we approached the year mark. I replied that nursing is going well, but I didn't know when I would wean. My goal was always to make it to a year. I thought "extended breastfeeding" was a little creepy, especially when the child could ask for it. A year seemed like such a long time.
And, yet, here we are. Approaching a year in 2 weeks. With no signs of stopping. Funny how she still seems so little to me as we are moving onward into toddlerhood. It doesn't feel weird or creepy to me that I am still nursing. It feels wonderful and right. I know it is the same for her. We still nurse quite a bit (5-7 x/d) but I think sometimes it is for emotional, rather than nutritional needs. With her as verbal as she seems to be getting, she will be asking for it in no time, too!
It is such an amazing bonding experience (although that just sounds trite writing it), but no words can describe the connection that is had between a nursing mother and child. Which sometimes can be challenging, especially when she only wants you AND NO OTHER, but I am hoping the rewards will pay off in the future. In fact, they already are! I have really loved this period and continue to enjoy our quiet time, just us. There is nothing like looking down and seeing her just watching me with those big, blue-brown-gray eyes of hers like saucers. The best is if I lean down to kiss her, and my hair happens to tickle her face, she closes her eyes just so and gives the biggest smile, with my nipple in her mouth. Too cute. Not disgusting at all, but oh so endearing. These moments alone make all the hard work and sacrifice of motherhood worthwhile. Not to mention all the benefits she is deriving from it, physically, emotionally, and psychologically.
So, when will we wean? No idea. Ideally, I'd like it to be baby-led, or at the very least, mutual. Right now I am thinking sometime between 18 mos and 2 years. Probably by next year at this time, I will be done. (Maybe just in time to start trying for number 2!) So we will see. As it stands, I am going to savor every last delicious moment of our journey together...
2 comments:
Okay, so this is interesting. I've made it through three months, and now that I'm recovered from mastitis and just this week a bout of the 24-hour GI ickies, I think I'm back to pretty good production again...and then today, the kid ramps up demand. This is the kind of thing that makes a rank novice like me (although obviously, I know lots more than I did 3 months ago about breastfeeding!!!) worry about if I'm giving her enough, what I'm doing wrong, etc. etc.
Clearly, this is a case of my own insecurity more than a failing of my boobtasticness, as the kid continues to develop creases in her creases, and can grease a pan just by waving a plump leg in its direction. (She is fat, is what I'm saying.) But I can't be the only one who has these crises of faith. How are you counseling your friend to make it through these times, perhaps when her pumping output seems diminished, or when she goes to nearly fulltime breastfeeding and can't get a handle on how the supply-demand loop is responding?
First of all you are doing GREAT! Possibly 3 month growth spurt? I told my friend to eat oatmeal every day for breakfast, drink mother's milk tea, consider mother's milk plus supplement, fenugreek, etc. Also, while she pumps, eat or chew gum (helps with let-down).
We went/go through the same type of phases where she will nurse nearly all the time (even now). As I said, sometimes its hard to say what is emotional and nutritional. However, I also have a VERY laid back approach to nursing. If she seems satisfied, is gaining/maintaining weight, meeting appropriate milestones, then I just don't worry. I think as a society we stress out so much and put so many rules on nursing - no wonder we don't have a high success rate! I choose to be relaxed about it. I don't think twice about the days she only eats 4 x (now) or 8 x (also recently). Could be any number of reasons, but I don't count. I just feed my baby. I liken it to the days when I am munchier more than usual or finding comfort in food (bad, I know!).
I did have a hard time talking to my friend because I hate sounding do or die about breastfeeding, even if it is warranted. Maybe everyone doesn't feel about it the way I do. My bottom line is that ultimately YOU make the choice about what works for YOUR family. And that is different for all of us. (And that is okay). I can give advice and encouragement, but I don't know to what lengths any one person is willing to go. And, far be it from me to add to any new mom's guilt over doing the "wrong thing". We have enough of that, thank you very much.
So, without knowing more of the situation, keep on nursing when she needs you. If you are worried about supply, try my above suggestions and/or check kellymom.com. Remember "this to shall pass", just in time for teething or some other phase! Ha ha. You have been through quite a bit with a high-needs girl and your challenges with nursing. But, above all, have confidence that you are doing the VERY BEST for your babes, even if it is extremely trying. Good luck to you and keep me posted...
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